"Act like you trust people, but don’t."
one of my favourite moments is when i’m sitting on a toilet completely drunk and i just smile and nod at myself in silence
so i was trying to find a picture of a bird that is big so i searched “big bird” but forgot he was a character
so i went back and typed in “a large bird” and THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS STILL HERE LOOKIN SAD LIKE I DIDN’T WANT HIM
when im a parent i won’t take my kid’s electronics when they get in trouble i’ll just take the charger so i can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out
what if every time you gained a follower you gained a pound
Are you talking British currency or weight because those are two completely different emotions
I love it when Google Chrome screws up and they’re like “Fuck it here’s a tiny dinosaur pixel”
NOOO WHY DOES NO ONE GET IT REMEMBER THE SCENE IN ‘MEET THE ROBINSONS’?
GOOGLE CHROME SHOWS THAT LITTLE DINOSAUR PIXEL BECAUSE THEY CAN’T REACH THE WEBPAGE