intimatedesires

katesmess:

fatseux:

Goals.

I’ve been looking for this forever

(Source: youaremyprodigy, via officialfrenchtoast)

— 1 hour ago with 155816 notes
girl:babe come over
boy:I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
girl:my parents aren't home
boy:I know
— 1 hour ago with 57331 notes

uran1a:

damnhebig:

wes-eskimo:

beardhairdontcare:

Pizza sex burger

Oh shit, now I’ve gotta make one of these

Mother of God

Oh my gawd

(Source: wamwanfood, via your-royalhighness)

— 1 hour ago with 87898 notes

illestflow:

little-miss-sunshine35:

juststrokemyglabella:

f1ipster:

danisactuallycry:

iraffiruse:

Listen here, you little shit…

Saturn was NOT a single lady.

"I’ll tell him not to go to a play. Ever."

you should not hit dogs

This made me smile

Walrus.

(via fatsupremecricket)

— 1 hour ago with 115423 notes
How to finish that last minute assignment

plasmaazul:

the-girlwhowasonfire:

cjshark:

prettyflyforaredspy:

ruemex:

disgruntledota:

leetakeuchi:

imageimageimageimageimage

I can not count the number of times this trick has saved my ass.

And people say Tumblr doesn’t teach you life skills…

this will come in handy one day

ATTENTION GRADUATING CLASS OF 2013: COLLEGE SURVIVAL 101

Reblogging for future reference..

Reblogging for my followers in high school and college

(Source: gamerspirit, via fatsupremecricket)

— 2 hours ago with 611879 notes
miss-sakamoto:

I don’t give a shit what this article say, I will never stop seducing men by bellowing at them with my megaphone

miss-sakamoto:

I don’t give a shit what this article say, I will never stop seducing men by bellowing at them with my megaphone

(via officialfrenchtoast)

— 3 hours ago with 47972 notes

clacl:

purrityring:

momofficial:

SNAILS EAT WORMS

why yes they do

image

and it’s fucking terrifying

It’s like straight sex

(via skinnychicksandpornoflicks)

— 13 hours ago with 102835 notes

unbiasedmark:

Remember limewire

Remember sometimes getting the song you were actually looking for and sometimes getting an mp3 of bill clinton saying that he didn’t have sexual relations with that woman instead

OH MY GOD

(via skinnychicksandpornoflicks)

— 13 hours ago with 49151 notes

ohdaesusie:

this world is so fucked up like one of my friends has carpeting in his bathroom instead of tile like how can someone hate themselves that much

(via textpostsrus)

— 13 hours ago with 212249 notes

newnewport:

tourettesandsex:

yo, his Lil’ Wayne impression is flawless.

Byeeeeee

(Source: topsznistheregime, via thatdudemcfly)

— 13 hours ago with 29261 notes

thesexosaurus:

"Condoms don’t work."

"Your first time is supposed to hurt."

"It’s not really sex if there’s no penetration."

"Girls don’t masturbate."

image

(via thatdudemcfly)

— 13 hours ago with 113303 notes

Jayoncé + looks

(Source: yivialo, via thatdudemcfly)

— 13 hours ago with 3642 notes